Paying respect is a complicated matter.
Nana joined Jesus on February 6th of this year and we gathered yesterday to celebrate her life.
In the process, I learned a lot about her and the kind of woman she was. Kind, gentle, faithful... in addition to loving and generous. I also knew she was fierce if she needed to be but also very quick to laugh and tease. I learned that she was born in Sioux St Marie, lived in Windsor, worked as a medical secretary at Women's College Hospital in Toronto for two years without formal training then became a legal secretary later - also without formal training.
I also heard stories about my dad - things like building an insect zoo to raise crickets to feed to the praying mantis they caught. It fits perfectly into the character I know as my father.
While the singing in the service was dreadful, we could all appreciate just why Nana would plug her ears when they played!
I learned that Nana was a woman of strong faith, studying the Bible, attending services while she still could and even bible studies right up until last fall at least. This explains the weather. When Nana discussed her wishes with our aunt, she requested a "Celebration of Life" be held in the spring. Most of us would have to travel 2 or more hours to attend and she didn't want anyone "getting in a wreck just for me".
By mid morning, the sun was shining and it was warm enough to leave our jackets behind. Given it was foggy and I'd worn my winter coat when we left home, this was a miraculous improvement. Seems someone has the ear of God.
Through all these things I smiled, laughed and appreciated Nana more. Wished we'd known her more and vowing to ensure our children know their grandparents well. We lived far away from ours and as lives got busier visits became more rare. By the time I was old enough to understand and learn, we were already well entrenched in our own lives. I hold no one responsible for this. I am an adult and fully capable of getting into a car or picking up a phone. So I will for my kids.
Tears haven't been a huge part of Nana's passing. She's been welcomed home and is celebrating with everyone she loved whose gone before her. This is all good. She lived 94 full years and her body had reached her end. Knowing this was no longer a hindrance for her means tears of sadness aren't necessary.
What did bring me to tears though was the respect people showed while we were driving to the cemetery. Complete strangers, recognizing that, as a funeral procession of cars, we were in mourning and therefore stopping to show their respect. They don't know us. They don't know Nana but yet they stopped. (Not everyone of course but that too has the lesson that life continues on.)
There were four unique souls that stood out in their respect. It was noticed and appreciated by all three family cars. First was a man weed'n'feeding his lawn. He'd reached the road end of his pass and stopped, waiting as we went by. Next was a tractor trailer that stopped - right in the middle of his lane not only showing us respect but helping those behind to take note as well. Third was a cyclist on a back country road. He just stopped and waited. Lastly, but not insignificant in anyway was a man, just out for a walk. He too stopped, took note and waited.
These moments of respect for a woman I loved are what brings me to tears. Then and now, hours later.
So thank you to those souls who take the time to stop. To show respect to the deceased and to their family. To make them realize that the life lost was significant.
